Top 10 Things Learned from "The Expendables"

"The Most Awesome Action
Movie Cast Ever Assembled..."

1.Who’d win in a fight between Stallone and Stone Cold Steve Austin?...Steroids?

2.Jet Li is the shortest Asian to ever kick Dolph Lundgren in the face.

3.One thing we didn’t learn…What language Dolph Lundgren speaks.

4.Not only can Steve Austin wrestle…he can also waterboard with the best of em.

5.Mickey Rourke is the wisest assassin-turned-tattoo artist-turned Rastafarian haircut to be put to film.

6.Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the next President…of Planet Hollywood.

7.The action movie scene where the heroes plant explosive charges everywhere is too good to not have a ten-minute long montage.

8. The Black guy doesn’t always die first, especially when he gets the Uranium-Bullet Shotgun…somewhere Samuel L. Jackson, Apollo Creed, and the Black dude from “Enter The Dragon” yell out a big “Harumph”.

9.When cameramen are exposed to constant explosions and dudes talking work-out regiments, the camera is just bound to be shaky.

10. The best thing to do after blowing up a war-torn country is to head home, down some brews with some brah’s, play some darts, and give each other a thumbs-up.