The L.o.v.e Virus

            Dr. Hugh Milton was sweating.  The anticipation was unbearable and despite the freezing morgue-like temperature setting in his laboratory, Dr. Milton just sweat everywhere.  “Potential after-effects?” thought the Doctor, who wiped his lower back with the back of his hand noting the cold pool of sweat that gathered there.

            Overlooking his long rectangular lab station, one full of various test-tubes, beakers and colorful liquids boiling away on small hot plates, there was a huge ceiling fan that was sucking in a grayish colored smoke that emanated from his station. It goes through several floors in this underground complex, up through a main chimney where it mixes with a few other possibly noxious substances until it’s released like a geyser into the ozone.

            Milton wasn’t concerned with the ozone however. His studies show that only 1% of lab mice had any reaction to the smoke. And that 1% was of no concern, even if it did explode one night. Milton breathed in. “That was early on” he thought and what really mattered was the clear liquid that slowly dripped into a small vial at the end of his lab station. Quite a spectacle he thought, and even though he would have his vial full by the end of the night, it would be a long time before it could ever be mass-produced. The shear amount of ingredients and power and heat and cold and miles of glass and tubing and expensive and loud air vacuums it would take to make another vial was out of the question. It would have to be right.

           Must be right.

            This was his ticket out. No more attending meaningless seminars and honoring prune-faced Euro scientists for something of little merit. Men who despite all their awards and accolades, could never ever ever get laid. Getting laid wasn’t why they became scientists. There isn’t many women out there who get instantly aroused by formulas and theorems or data results. Milton was the exception. Everything he did he did to get laid. Even becoming a scientist.

            It was simple really.  Just take a little of this and a little of that, and here in his laboratory Dr. Hugh Milton has created a certifiable LOVE Potion. LOVE stood for Lycophosphatic-Oxy-Valeriananum-Extract. One drink from that vial makes the receptors in the brain responsible for attraction and stimulation go wild. It in turn manipulates these receptors, causing the brain to spasm wildly and fills it’s hosts body with an intense desire for someone. The catch is that it works right away, the person who takes the potion is immediately attracted to the first person they see. The potion also feeds off what the brain already perceives as attractive. So if a man is attracted to women who wear glasses and takes the potion in the company of a woman wearing glasses the potion is doubly effective. Actually it’s 54% more effective, but the time for specifics would come later when the doctor would be getting accolades of his own.

            The next phase is human testing. But whom? Maybe a man suffering from erectile dysfunction? A man or woman who has given up any chance of finding a partner and instead takes in several hours of re-runs and several boxes of tv dinners? Maybe a young person? Age 18-35? The perfect target audience. Raging egos? Check. Off the chart hormone levels? Check. Maybe a famous actress to sponsor the potion? Milton thought and thought, as he checked and re-checked all his gauges and valves and thermometers and hydrometers and graph readouts. Like a flash of white lightning it comes to him. The girl down the hall.

            She was gorgeous. Not in your typical sense. Milton couldn’t believe she was a scientist. She was interning for another scientist down the hall, something to do with testing a fancy new gravity vehicle for the government. She would be perfect, he thought.

            Milton finally did get to talk to her. It was in the break room of the science complex. Snack machines full of salty goodness, and soda machines dispensing only the finest in chemically engineered caffeine-inflated carbonated soda, made two floors up. He explained to her how long it took to get where he is, that everything is ready for consumption but he just needed the perfect subject. When she asked why, his reply was that she is a true beauty, with the intelligence to match. She could partner with him on working on an easier formula to produce.

            He had to leave out the detail about falling for the first person she sees. He didn’t want her to feel duped into having an unnatural chemical infatuation with him. So he told her all the physical changes that occur, raise in blood pressure, increased adrenaline and hormone levels, and a safe all-natural feeling of euphoria (he actually stole this part of the formula from the old military research center in Sub-Level 4, just a few floors up. Milton “knew a guy” so they say.) The emotional aspect was easily omitted from his speech. She was immediately enthralled at the scientific prospects of LOVE and left her post the next day to join Dr. Milton.

            Talking into his tape recorder, Milton set up the test. Connected to his subjects head and body were various sensors, all feeding to a tv set with an infared picture of the woman’s skull. When it became time to take the potion, both doctor and subject were high on anticipation. When the doctor handed the woman her dosage, she downed it all in one quick gulp. Immediately, the infared image of her skull turned a whitish-red. Her eyes opened up, her pupils were dilated and her posture changed as if someone was running an ice cube up her spine. Milton knew it. It worked! She looked at him like she wanted to make love to him and squeeze the life out of him all at once.

            “How do you feel?”

            “Amazing. You’re amazing. I don’t know if it’s the drugs or you. But I feel crazy right now.”

            “Crazy? Crazy how? Do you feel sick?”

            “No”, she was taking deeper and deeper breaths and was staring straight into Milton’s eyes. At first he felt awkward as she did this. He never liked being stared at, especially when he was just trying to take some data. Before long however, the tension was palpable. And he gave in, and they made passionate love on his lab table. She was like an animal. She pushed all his equipment to the floor, shattering glass all over the place. She couldn’t stop, and he couldn’t stop her. After hours of lovemaking, Milton was exausted and needed to sleep. She wouldn’t let him sleep, she wanted to be with him forever. He thought to himself, “need to work on the appropriate dosage.”

            It was more than an intense sexual encounter for her though. She loved everything about him. To be without him would be like living without oxygen.  She squeezed onto him, till he could barely breathe and when it got to this point she would let go slightly and hold on once again.

            Milton was overwhelmed by her, and the situation that was once ecstatic and pleasurable became terrifying. He needed to get out of there and away from what he artificially created. He made a huge mistake, needed to work things out a little more.

            He fled. He managed to get away with his lab notes, just barely. He needed to dose her with a horse sedative first.

            When he arrived out of the sub-level, up to the main level, and out the cleverly hidden front door he took in the harsh desert rays, covered his eyes and got as far as he could from the base.

            Years later, and several formulas and theories and tests later, Dr. Milton got over the LOVE experiment, and moved on to more casual science. Teaching 10^th grade chemistry to be exact. He no longer thought about meeting women through science, he met a lovely Math teacher that he married and planned to have a child with. He was in true love, no potions drugs or marketing schemes for him.

            One evening ,on a rather basic Tuesday night, the married couple sat on the couch watching their favorite tv show and graded papers, a weekly tradition. There was a bustle in the bushes outside their window and Dr. Milton arose to check on it. “Just some stray cats” he thought.

What he got instead was a splash of burning liquid to his face. He shielded his eyes and screamed. He could feel every pore on his face sting and his eyes felt as if they could implode from their sockets. He managed to open one eye and through pinkish tears that clouded his vision he could barely make out who his attacker was. She was in a lab-coat, wearing dark rimmed glasses and was wearing candy red lipstick. She smiled at him and said “I finally made my own LOVE potion. What do you think?” Like a caged animal, Milton leaped through the glass window. His wife was screaming. He attacked the woman and she attacked back. They were clawing each others clothes off until they were stripped from their bodies and they kissed furiously.

            After a few seconds, Milton’s wife ran outside and clocked the woman over the head with a flower vase and she dropped to the lawn like a ton of bricks.

            As she lied there unconscious, Milton’s wife ran to her husband’s side. At first Milton was upset to see his attacker injured, but then as he looked into his wife’s eyes he pounced on her. He couldn’t let go of her.

            She did it Milton thought. She perfected the formula. How long would it last though?

            Suddenly his body couldn’t control itself. He bit down on his lips. His eyes couldn’t stop blinking and something made his diaphragm shrivel up. He had the urge to love. With a love-struck ferocity, like a cat in heat, he pounced upon his wife. His wife too, was suffering from similar symptoms and when the two came together, the force was enough to knock them several feet apart.

            Their neighbor, Larry from the bowling league pulled onto his lawn after a night of rolling strikes sees the couple going wild on the lawn and strolls over to make sure everything is ok.

            “Hey are you two ok?” he asked.

            Milton’s wife looked up at Larry and her eyes widened, her back stiffened and her head cocked slightly to the right as if she just found her true love at first sight.